By Lisa Cafiero
Where did all the manly men go?
Does it bother anyone else when a guy orders a more “fruity” cocktail than you do? When his Starbucks order has more adjectives than his description of his purpose in life?
Is it me or have men in general started leaning towards this metro-sexual, manicured, perfectly quoiffed “I might be gay” feel?
These city guys are getting more pedicures in a month than I have had in my life! Where is the balance of femininity and masculinity: the ying and the yang of relationships? Where the woman exudes the softness and beauty and the man commands attention with his chivalrous nature and handsome good looks? No, I’m not being old school just requesting the normal balance of male and female counterparts and our natural heritage.
Is it the sign of the times for a man to take as long getting dressed as a woman? When did these roles mesh together?
Well, I’ll tell you my philosophy. Women are craving more than ever to have men that pay attention to them and actually ask, “How was your day?” and mean it. We want a man to remember our favorite movie, rent it, and light candles for no reason whatsoever. Yet, in today’s live fast die pretty mentality, the sweet and simple treasures of life somehow have been replaced with facebook poking and tweets. Think of how many men on MySpace have their shirts off. Enough said. So the superficial façade of external beauty has become the sad norm.
These little romantic nuances have seemed to dissipate for so long that I wonder who is playing a trick on us. I think the God of Love, Eros, decided to lace every guy’s drink with a little Bailey’s and estrogen. And whalla: A sensitive guy that eats with his pinkies straight out. Of course the antidote is a shot of Jager and a slap on the ass from his football buddies. Unless, of course he happens to like the slap and well…That’s a whole other love story.
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Well, women have been being sold the idea of looking perfect for decades. Advertising just finally caught on that men have the same insecurities to some extent, so now guys are getting shown what they’re “supposed” to look like/wear/buy to attract a woman (aside from a sports car). And that’s just so much easier than cultivating a real personality, isn’t it? So I’d chock it up to a by-product of a mainstream consumer culture that doesn’t ask much of people except to meet the ideal they’re being sold. That and bad parenting that forgets to teach manners.
Though I have to say, judging a guy based on his starbucks order is also pretty superficial. It also sounds like you’re nostalgic for a past that didn’t necessarily exist except in the same pop culture ideal you’re criticizing. And I can’t help but notice the contradiction is saying you want a manly guy who will light candles for you – something most football ass-slappers would call totally gay.
And while we’re at it, if you want a guy who’s rugged yet sensitive, I want a woman who’s smart yet domestic. As in: can cook a meal, talk about something other than fashion or friend drama, and maintain an apartment that isn’t a disaster area. Because there are plenty of women out there who want what you’re after but have nothing to offer but their charming (needy) personalities.
By: Nick on August 24, 2009
at 12:59 pm
Good for you Lisa, great blog. If things keep going like they are the women will be carrying the man over the threshold. This is how I order at Starbucks….give me a medium cup of Joe.
And this is how I order chicken through the window of my pick-up at KFC…give me 2 legs, 2 breasts and some chicken!!!
By: Risky on August 31, 2009
at 9:52 pm
I think the title should be “Steven Pearl is a God”, but that’s just my humble opinion. I read it and I like it! As for me, I’m the last of the real HE-MEN. I gargle with lava, headbutt doors open for my ladylike lady and don’t eat anything unless it’s boiling and is made at least out of 84% granite. Ain’t that a man? You bet it is! Now who wants to have a girder fight? C’mon, I’ll take yuz all on!
By: Steven Pearl on September 14, 2009
at 1:21 pm